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When you’re dating an emotionally unavailable person, they’ll seek your advice. While it’s true that couples often grow together, and of course, transform over time, the fundamental values a person has - what they believe, what they want in a relationship, their integrity — doesn’t shift.They’ll say they find comfort in your arms and your words. There’s a difference between that new relationship flutters that make you excited to see someone who has potential to be a big someone in your life, and feeling anxious all the time. (Laughs.) It’s a really strange thing, having missed that first four and a half years. It’s the most selfish way of living, but for a lot of people, it’s what’s fitting. But now I have this little person, who everything I do is based around her. I have a nonprofit, and the most beautiful thing she said to me before I left was…There’s a healthy balance of maintaining your individuality while also being a selfless parent. We are competent and capable in the ‘new world’ yet are happy outside, disconnected from our devices. They’ll convince you to place the blame on yourself. It’s how they’re trying to get out of talking about the real pink elephant in the room.They’ll make you think you’re just expecting too much. Make you question if you see those bright red flags or if you’re imagining them. My very first adult relationship was with an emotionally unavailable man that I sincerely loved.
If you find yourself leaning toward these types of people, here are the things that I’ve learned from many failed relationships, so you don’t have to waste your time: Oh, but how you’ll try!Though I tend to be someone who lives with her heart wide open and maintains an ever-hopeful spirit, no matter what life throws my way, I’ve tended to attract (and be attracted to) one very sad type of person: emotionally unavailable men.They’re the type of guys who have a way of charming their way into your heart, your bedroom and your deepest fears, often taking advantage of your vulnerability and your desire to be a good partner.But the youngest member of the Gen X tribe brings lessons learned from his new experiences as a father into the game, as well as a lifetime of experience as an athlete and a younger brother looking to step out from under his siblings’ shadows. If we were playing cards, or we were playing Monopoly, or we were playing a game… You couldn’t get your ass whooped all the time and constantly get beat by your older brothers. What can I do here to possibly shift or bend something in my favor and not feel bad about it afterwards? We’ll play Tic Tac Toe, and I wonder if I should let her win on this one… Ken: Oh, no, fatherhood has opened me up emotionally more than I ever knew possible. you’re pinned under some fifteen foot waves and you think in that moment that this might be the one you don’t come up from.Click here to read Ken’s bio, and keep reading for our chat. Afterwards, when you’re sitting with all the money on the Monopoly table, and you go outside and you’re shooting baskets and you’re like, “By the way, here’s how I got all of that.” You do what you have to do to win a game, and if you have a competitive mind and a competitive edge like I do… But at the same time, I don’t think it’s healthy when a parent loses their whole personality for their child. You sound like you’re feeling pretty confident about this whole thing. That, on top of numerous other economic and mental and emotional battles that I’ve been through? It’s a generation of hard workers who were on the cusp of some incredible social, political and technological shifts.