Internet dating how soon to meet
Lonely and alone on a Saturday night, I started scrolling through Ok Cupid and, out of boredom and curiosity, expanded my search options to include users anywhere in the world.I was drawn in by the profiles of some of these new, distant matches and messaged a few asking if they’d like to chat on the phone.That was the second long-distance relationship she’d had through the forum: Her first, with a guy from Florida, lasted two years.Online-dating companies are privy to the fact that people use them for travel.“I guess people on online-dating sites know what they’re looking for, but these younger people in nevermet relationships aren’t really looking for love online,” the /r/Long Distance moderator, a 20-year-old college student who goes by Bliss online, tells me.(As a female gamer, she’s asked me not to use her name for fear of being harassed or doxed.) “Then one day they realize they love the person they’ve been talking to online.“For the right person, distance isn’t a problem,” one user commented.
And Scruff, a dating app for gay men, has a section called Scruff Venture that helps users coordinate travel plans and connect with host members in foreign countries.
But I had no plans to visit Austin and we lost touch.
A couple of weeks later, for work, I started combing through a data set of Ok Cupid “success stories”—blurbs that couples wrote in to let us know they’d found a soul mate or spouse through the site.
Seventy years ago, the Yale sociologist John Ellsworth Jr.
was researching marriage patterns in small towns and concluded: “People will go as far as they have to to find a mate, but no farther.” This still seems to be the case in 2018.
Maybe it was the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon—that effect where, when you first learn about something, you see it everywhere—but suddenly I learned that lots of people I knew had this same story.