What does pda mean in dating language
One way to frame a safe conversation is to start with a statement like “I’m having a hard time with something, and I want to share it with you. ” If it’s not a good time for the other person to hear this, the requester must accept it.
But the other person must in turn offer a time he or she would be more open to hearing your concerns.
It’s imperative that both members of a couple make a strict commitment to this approach. In a particularly unhealthy relationship, this might in fact mean that both people have nothing to say to each other for a long period of time.
In this case, the dynamic between the partners has become so toxic, so stuck in a loop of one-up, one-down behavior that it’s violated both members’ feelings of trust and safety.
The zero negativity approach doesn’t imply that partners shouldn’t be allowed to express concerns or desires for behavioral change in a relationship. A hurtful comment out of nowhere, or passive-aggressive put-down is unacceptable.
In time, you’ll begin to notice all the ways you were being unconsciously critical — making jokes at the other’s expense, speaking negatively about them to others, thinking passive aggressive thoughts. I challenge you to give it a try — not a word, not a comment, not a glance in a negative direction.
However it comes out, the message is that one person is superior and the other inferior. The response of the criticized person also takes one of these forms: he/she may slink away, play dead in a submissive posture or take on the accuser by fighting back.
Whether criticism is phrased in a gentle way or a cruel way, it comes from the same place of judgment.
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